Being alone…

“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”               -Audrey Hepburn

Esto es mi desahogo…

Feeling alone for the most time is like feeling empty, a fish without water…

I’m not alone, i have a toddler and a dog, and also i’m married; but i feel sometimes alone now a days… Its just a feeling that I didn’t feel in my life. This emptiness in my life is making me crazy. I really don’t know how to start to prepared for the stupid EXADEP exam, I really need to passed it, to enter LAW SCHOOL, like my husband did this year, right now, in this freaking week, orientation week of his law school and I’m so fucking jealous… I feel like my blood is burning, this should be me, not him… But I married a smart, sexy, handsome dude, the hottest dude, yeah with the perfect face, perfect smile, perfect body and abs, everything perfect… And he has a perfect memory, he is smart ass, and he is capable of learning shit really fast…

Me <—- my brain doesn’t work like his, we are not the same in that area, my brain takes time to remember things, and It wasn’t like that when I was in elementary school, maybe my mom brake me, broke my habit of studying, maybe she was to perfect to be my mom, or her to pretend to parent me… I really don’t know, what happened to my brain…

When I was pregnant I had the best grade in all my years at the University, Like straight As! Maybe i have to get pregnant again to pass this fucking exam and enter law school and keep getting pregnant, LOL and have all As! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL… I can’t do that. Having one child right now is enough.

My brain is in la la land, I need it back to pass this fucking exam, but I can’t concentrate because I’m cleaning the house, making everything perfect, trying to feed my toddler that decided he doesn’t like food… and thats drive me nuts, and It’s takes a toll on my entire body. It’s like I still have a mommy brain, I’m a mommy that have a toddler and I’m not pregnant…. So, why I still have the mommy brain……

I feel frustrated, empty, lonely, and right now is raining, It’s been raining all day long…  And yes, I’m now talking about rain, the sound of it is relaxing… I wanted to do many thing by this time of my age, don’t get me wrong I’m not closed to 30 years but I’m not 18 any more and not near of it… I love being at the university, talking with people, maybe I studied something that wasn’t the best choice, but help Law School… Maybe I was supposed to be a DR. in Psychiatric… maybe It’s too late for that or not… I really don’t know… This exam is taking a toll on myself, my body, my relationships with the people that I love, but I feel Lonely. I’m struggling hard, and my husband he doesn’t even realize it, because he got to Law School before me… I feel this a competition and I really want to win.

Peace and Love

Personal Experience Uncategorized

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Hi, I’m Lizzie. I recently started this mommy adventure blog to talk about daily life, love life, struggles, pain, work, studies, toddler drama, depression, ups and downs in every aspect of this wonderful life. Sometimes I’m going to blog in English and Spanish!!! I’m from Puerto Rico, is a beautiful tropical island in the Caribbean. I’m married to a wonderful man named X and we have a Beautiful toddler boy named M. We have a Small dog named Apollo and he is so cute, energetic and lovable.

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